A Year Full of Change, Trials and Triumphs

I can't believe, once again, it's been two years since I've written on this blog! So much has happened since my last post in February 2014. First and foremost, I lost my dad....at only 54 in September of that year. It was crushing and although he was managing a heart condition, unexpected. In addition,
the month before my dad died, after working a 90 hour week, we lost our beloved border collie mix, Papa Champ! CRUSHING! It was terrible. Matt was traveling, and I had to put him down after two days of surprise sickness. I felt like I had a 6th sense and knew this was coming. I can't explain it, but how much I miss my Dad and Papa Champ.

Two years since my dad passed (those words seem so impossible) things are good and I am truly grateful for the time that I had with him. God takes life and he gives life. About 5 months after his passing, I found out I was pregnant with my third little bitty. It was definitely the distraction we needed to get us through a somber year.  We spent an incredible year with my step mom at my dad's house. It was hard at first, but a journey working through our grief and accepting God's plan.

 

 

A year of lots of family time, Family feud, tractor rides, car rides and fun in a beautiful country setting on 14 acres. My step mom I think was a saint to let us stay with her for a year. Eleven months later, Matt and I closed on our first house together...but I'll get to that later. The biggest surprise that I will forever cherish is the intimacy and closeness it brought to my marriage. Because of some family issues I do not want to discuss, we became closer and more dependent on each other, in the very best way. I can't imagine loving him more, but I do. Every day. He is the champion of this family. After all, he has four girls to look after. Buy him a beer when you see him!

The BIGGER news is that Morgan Rae was born on 11/5/15! I was dead set I was having a boy and SURPRISE it was a girl. Matt will never say this, but I think he secretly was wanting a girl. What can I say, he does the girl thing well. Morgan is the spunk, the sweet, the only baby I got to experience a long-time nursing relationship and boy is it sweet. She is the easiest baby to nurse and I have never grown tired of it. We have so much time together that I will always remember...her smirks, her smell, her devotion.

In August, almost exactly two years since Papa Champ passed, we welcomed Papa Coop! So the year can be summed up like this: New baby, new house, new puppy! The answer I give to people who look at me like I'm crazy is, "We like extreme parenting!"

I hope to write more soon. These girls and this family are my life's work and I love them so much!

~SO

"I'll Always Be in Your Heart..."

Those are the words whispered in my ear by my four-year old this morning as her dad took her to school. It was a special day today because my husband was going into work late so I let him enjoy pre-school drop-off while I stayed in my pajamas! She understood this was a change in our routine. I told her to have fun today and that I would miss her. She whispered back in my ear, "I'll always be in your heart..."

My Madison is so sentimental, she's just like me. I whispered the same thing to her last night in bed and she held me so tightly and cried. Not a loud cry, but a soft whimper, it's as if she is aware she is growing up and becoming a big girl. She knows this time we have together is precious and priceless, and that it's winding down.

Why do the things we love always have to come to an end?

SO

Where Have the Last Three Years Gone?

My Messy Dream
I sit here almost three years to the day that I started this blog. I remember exactly how I felt. Incredible, scared, anxious and proud all at once. I have to say, I look back and am disappointed in myself for never writing here again. I feel a bit defeated. Motherhood although entirely amazing, has kicked my ass...in so many wonderful ways. I was naive. I had a picture of what I thought being a stay at home mom meant; boy was I wrong. I think first and foremost the biggest obstacle was the financial burden that was slapped upon us also immediately when my last paycheck came. I drained all of my retirement accounts to do what I did, and although I know it sounds crazy, I wouldn't trade it for all of the money in the world. Because here is the thing, those two little beauties, those crazy ladies in mommy's high heels with messy hair and lip gloss, they're mine. You know, the ones singing at the top of their lungs, dancing on the kitchen table (yes I let my kids do that), riding their bikes in the living room, making works of art by simply cutting hundred of pieces of paper for me to pick up later, feeding me pistachios because that's what I used to do with my grandma? They're mine, all mine. And more importantly, my life's work.  So although I may be working past when my friends might retire, I've created something epic and magical. Yes, I've spent my days with messy hair and yoga pants. I've gone a day (or two) without brushing my teeth. We've had pajama days and dress up days and school days... we've had trips to the parks, the library, trips to the zoo, but mostly down time at home. We've spent our days in a messy car driving back and forth to Bambi and PaPaw's or MiMi and Grandpas. We've been swallowed up by the impossible pile of clean laundry that took over our living room for not days, but weeks only to get bigger because I'd rather nap with my two sleeping beauties than be apart to the fold the laundry. Well, I was pretty tired too...

My Financial Hustle
During the Fall of 2011, I quickly learned if I was going to stay home, I had to make money. I started selling Thirty-One, completed free-lance writing projects and then one day I picked up my first DSLR camera. I knew a girlfriend who started her own photography business with quick success and I knew that if she could do it, I definitely could too and so... I did. You'll see a blog post about my adventure and success with SO Chic Photography with my motto, "she believed she could, so she did..." My husband moved jobs three times in three years to climb the corporate ladder to provide more. I started a permanent part-time position. It was a constant climb that just never seemed to be "enough".

My Marriage Mayhem
My husband and I have learned the true meaning of the phrase "till death do us part," because so many times I think we both wanted to throw in the towel. We've never talked about it, but I know its true. Sometimes on each other, but more-so on life in general. If life is hard, parenthood is nearly impossible. The most shocking thing about this is that I don't remember seeing parents or my own parents so disheveled. Do we look that disheveled? We were simply not prepared for the exhaustion strain parenthood would put on our marriage and still puts to this day. I also don't want to give the impression I was one of those girls with no baby experience whatsoever. I was a nanny...for a living, for many, many years. I have always adored little kids, starting with my baby sister when I was 8.  I would say I was the most prepared person I have ever known for motherhood, besides maybe my best friend who had an older sister and me to show her the glamorous realities of motherhood BEFORE she had kids!  My point to all of this is although my marriage is not perfect, we're in it to win it! Love and faith has gotten us past everything and anything. And we know, like so many moments good or bad, this will pass and we'll be on the other side. Maybe a 1000 oz Yuengling and Margarita will be waiting. If they're not, we're investing in all of the above!

My Support System
Basically what I am trying to say is motherhood has tested me at every level possible and to this date, and I haven't always won. My house is messy, my marriage isn't' perfect and I've had to hustle, hustle, hustle to bring in extra money to keep me at home. I've relied on my friends for moral support and comfort (you know who you are Emily and Jen) and my dear parents financially and as go-to babysitters because most times I couldn't afford to pay one. I really could not have done this especially without my parents. Simple things like my mom sending me new fall boots or salon quality shampoo. Having a bad day? Use some fancy shower products and you'll feel like a million bucks! My step mom buying anything from toilet paper to formula to tampons and everything else in between. I know they have done it because they love me and they love my girls, but it all has exemplified love at the deepest level for me. I probably have been too tired to show my TRUE appreciation and gratitude, but I hope they know how much it has meant to me, not just now, but forever.

My Wish
Why am I saying all of this? Because I hope someday when M&M are new moms, they read this and they know motherhood is not perfect and it's not easy. Would it have been easier if I had more money and resources? Maybe...but it just wasn't for me. I want them to know it really did take a village to raise them and they must learn to let the laundry pile up and the sink to stay full because in between the dream of a spotless house and folded laundry, there are so many awe-inspiring, beautiful, breathtaking moments. Moments that I may not have gotten down on this blog for the past three years, but that will fuel my soul forever. Long after they are in college or become moms themselves, I will dream about them, I will feel them and I will know that I did good. No, that I did great. I was epic. I was sensational, and that I gave of myself 100%. But it wasn't the giving that was the reward, they have fueled my heart and soul with enough love, warmth, and belly laughs that will last forever. Thank you baby girls...

SO

She Believed She Could, So She Did...

She believed she could...so she did. That was the motto that started SO Chic Photography nearly three years ago. Before my photography obsession, I had landed my first "big" gig and was a creature of corporate PR which was fantastic at the time. I was newly married, in my mid twenties and hadn't quite conquered babies yet!  I worked with a great bunch of gals that made Tech PR fun, if you can imagine that! Fast forward and Matt and I found out we were expecting...it was amazing. The only title I ever cared about was"mommy." We decided to not find out what we were having and God only knows how hard I prayed to get her, Madison Sara. She blew me away...more than I could have ever imagined. Eleven months later, her baby sister blew me away when she decided to show up 7 weeks premature! Ta da, Mackenzie Rose was here.

Here I was, 27 years old with a newborn and an 11 month old BABY! My rockstar PR position required more strategy, more energy and more time than I was willing or physically and mentally able to give. Also being head quartered on the West Coast, I was leaving my poor husband at home ALONE with a newborn and a year old baby...I couldn't stand leaving all of them. A few weeks back from my second maternity leave, I quit.  Sayonara corporate job, corporate strategies, and corporate salary...EEK! What did I do? I didn't care. If anyone was going to be feeding my girls bottles, changing diapers, catching throw-up, snuggling or losing their mind, it was definitely going to be me...

I always wanted to be home with my girls, always, and there wasn't anything or anyone that was going to stop me, period. I knew the girls being so young and so close needed me and I needed them.  But knowing who I am, I needed a creative outlet and a way to bring in extra income for my family. I was always the family photographer at every family event or special function because I appreciated so many awe moments (and because I'm sentimental as hell). I still cannot take enough pictures!

I can't remember how I found her, but God put a photography class with the great and mighty Karla Banks in front of me that winter. I asked my parents to pay for the class as an early birthday gift (remember the losing the corporate salary part?) And they happily obliged. Karla has changed my life. And if she reads this she'll probably laugh or think I am crazy, but she did. Check her out, Banks Photography. She is AMAZING. She is wicked smart and such a wonderful teacher, mentor and friend. I've lost count of the classes I have taken from her since then (and all the practice frames I've shot), but I can't get enough! She brings such enthusiasm, love and passion to photography, while keeping it elegant and simple. Exactly what I strive to achieve, simple and chic. Let me say it again, AMAZING!

Something about Thanksgiving this year that really hit me, I have lots to be thankful for! My parents for helping fund this dream not only in classes but camera equipment, Karla Banks for her patience and awe-inspiring love and knowledge of photography, my husband for helping corral my crazy girls and use them as models, from babies to toddlers and beyond, and for going to bed without me most nights while I am up editing away, but most importantly my clients! The friends and family that have supported this dream when I came knocking and asked, "Hey,you need family pictures?" or "doesn't someone have a birthday coming up?" And the fun referrals along the way that I now call friends. You are the heart and soul of why I do what I do! You're contributing to my dream of being home with my girls and for that, I am extremely and forever grateful.

I attached a picture of the O'Malley girls because well, they are grateful too!

SO

The Quest for Mommy Nirvana starts here...

So first let me start out by telling you why I started this blog.  About two months ago I found myself at a very heart wrenching crossroads; do I continue to work full-time, or become a "Work At Home Mom" as I like to call it.  A decision millions of moms have made, will make, or debate making their entire lives. I am the mommy of two beautiful, healthy little girls 11 months apart. Yes 11 months! Apparently my husband wasn't kidding when he said he was Irish! Go figure my last name is O'Malley and we had "Irish twins," Madison 15 months, and Mackenzie 4 months.  My daughters are my life, I could not be more smitten with these two beautiful miracles God gave me!


So here I was getting ready to go back to work after maternity leave and return to a job I truly really enjoyed. As any mom will tell you, this scenario is one-sided. No matter how fabulous of a job you have, ultimately it is the job that is keeping you from your real full-time job of being a mom. I found myself wanting to be with my girls all the time and it was a feeling I couldn't shake or adjust to.


Don't get me wrong, I love working. In fact, working in corporate PR has been the most valuable professional arena I have ever stepped foot into, combine that with a rockstar mentor and I've jumped leaps and bounds in my professional career. Not to mention, I wear jeans to work every day, can work from home when I need to, and get to travel a little bit to boot. The perks to my corporate job are endless, mainly because I work for a company head quartered in southern California and well, they are just cool. However facing the reality of putting my girls in daycare full-time was eating at me and finally I decided to take a chance. After all, most of my life I've done everything by the book. Went to college (Go Falcons!), got a job, married my high school sweetheart, bought a house, bought a dog, had 2 kids...you get the idea. So this is the time in my life when I say, "to hell with it, I can do this!" 


So here I am literally living on a prayer, (and while you're at it, can you say a few for me?)  I'm leaving my corporate gig for a different kind of full-time job that requires a lot of work, a lot of patience and I'm told a lot of wine, but it's where I'm meant to be!


So I say bring on the challenges of motherhood, and not just any motherhood, the duty of caring for my "baby bunch" of two kids under two, hell two kids under one! I'll be navigating my way through saving money, spending money, keeping the kids and my hubby happy and well fed (this is important in my house), keeping the dog alive, my roots from showing and my own happiness at the forefront of everything I do and stand for. 


Whether you're a working mom, expecting mom, or stay at home mom, and let's face it ladies, stay at home moms are always working, I hope you'll love this blog and be inspired by it. After all, it's because of women like you I've been inspired to give this life a shot.  For the first time in a long time, I am doing exactly what I want to do and I am getting the creative juices and energy to do it! I have a few business ventures up my sleeve I'll be working towards, so expect a lot more from me!


I have to say thanks to my hubby Matt and my mom for believing in me whole heartedly; for never saying I couldn't afford to do it, stand to do it or survive doing it! And to my two little bitties, Madison and Mackenzie,who make me laugh and love more than I ever thought possible.

And most importantly, here's to all the moms out there!

Happy Reading!